Thanksgiving 2015 - Thankful ~ Grateful ~ Blessed

Thanksgiving is THE.BEST.DAY.OF.THE.YEAR. Hands Down. Always has been, always will be.

I absolutely love Thanksgiving. And that is thanks to the amazing and blessed childhood I had. I'm not sure how old I was when we started going to Fairfield for Thanksgiving, at my Uncle J'Earl and Aunt Donna's, but it is the only way I remember Thanksgiving ever being. If we could manage, we would drive down the night before. We always loved that best. That way, we had more play time. The girls played Barbies for HOURS. But really, we just set up the storyline and created our houses and dressed our barbies for hours. Then we would get distracted and do something different. Sometimes the boys would coerce us out of our hangout space to join them for Kick the Can and fun nighttime games out in the cul de sac. And of course there was always Monopoly and Chicken Foot and the Sign Game and trampoline fun and everything awesome in childhood.
Thanksgiving morning always started with a soccer game where we joined my cousins' friends and their friends and anyone. I was never good, but I loved this tradition! It was often cold, and wet. But it got us out of the house and away from our parents for at least an hour or more.
Back at the house was warming up, changing, and the beginning of the many tasks needed to get an incredible dinner on the table for the masses of family that we are. I always loved to see what we were going to do as place settings and table decorations. We would cram all of us in there and lengthen the table as much as possible so we could all be together. The food was always incredible (but what Thanksgiving Feast isn't?) The company was the BEST! My memories are filled with smiles and laughter and love.
In my family we all remember the one year where Uncle J really wanted to cook the turkey in his new smoker. The funny part was that he kept asking Aunt Donna how she wanted her turkey and she kept saying, "Just a little salt and oil" but then Uncle J would do it a different way instead. And then when it actually came down to dinner time, the turkeys weren't ready yet. So we ate without them. They finally came out when we were all done, and completely stuffed with everything else. We enjoyed them for leftover sandwiches the next day tho. Apparently, you don't have to have turkey to have a scrumptious feast!

As we got older, the crowd got smaller. The hardest part about getting older, I think, is that our memories become just that.

The reason I love Thanksgiving is because it is a day all about food, and especially FAMILY. To say I love mine almost feels like an understatement. I adore them! I am so richly blessed to call them mine. None of us is perfect, and I'd be the first to share with you all their quirks and idiosyncrasies and faults (including my own), but I wouldn't trade them for anything (even tho I did BEG my parents to let me be an only child back in my younger years. Never mind that I'm the youngest. hahaha!)

The thing I dislike the MOST about living in Nebraska, is that we aren't close to family. We've been blessed to have family visit us for 2 of our 4 Thanksgivings here, but it still isn't the same.

But I have still enjoyed my quiet (can I call anything quiet if Brek is involved?) day of gratitude and thankfulness with my 2 boys. The silliness in the simplicity of our celebration makes my heart happy.

This year we stayed in our pjs all day long. It snowed through a good portion of the morning, so Brek enjoyed some romping out in the snow and I got some piano practiced, books read, and pointless games played on my phone, plus a phone call with my sister. I got to eat cereal for breakfast (because we actually bought me some of my milk for the holiday weekend - never happens) and had some nice cuddle time with a comfy blanket and my son. He entertained himself pretty well for the morning, did some playing and watching of starfall and pbskids. We had a late lunch and then we all took naps. Well, Brek did "quiet" time. The boys watched a basketball game and as dinner time approached, I hopped in the shower and the boys set the table and made dinner and vacuumed. Dinner was deli meat and cheese panini sandwiches with pesto and a side of rotisserie (aka "crack") chicken, with some sparkling cider mixed with berry juice left over from our travels last week. Not a well balanced meal. But filling and delicious! Afterwards we played a round of "Hide the Turkeys" and sang a couple primary songs; then Joe asked to watch the movie "Fantastic Mr. Fox." Weird is all I have to say, but still enjoyable. Then Joe made us hot fudge milkshakes and Brek was off to bed after he finished his.

Definitely nothing traditional about our day. But wonderful in it's own special way.

This is the first year that I have participated in a theme of thankfulness on social media, and I am so glad that I did. Although there are many things I am thankful for that I have not mentioned, I decided I wanted to find and mention something specific from throughout my day, so that I could focus on the positives and the blessings, even if things weren't really going well. Sometimes life has a lot of challenges, and it is hard to move our focus away from the negative things. My life has not been easier, but I can honestly say that I have felt happier. There have only been a few days where I have really had to dig and find something that I was thankful for. I do have so much to be grateful for. I do have so many people and things and events in my life that God blesses me with. And as I work to improve my relationship with the Lord, I repeatedly recognize the love that He gives me, even tho I am undeserving of it. He is the reason for all that is good and great and wonderful and lovely in my life. And He is the one that pulls me through the crappy parts as well. He is the happiness that fills my heart.

A while back I saw a sign that read "Thankful ~ Grateful ~ Blessed." It has filled my mind on many occasions and I guess I could say it has become my personal motto. I am Thankful. I am Grateful. And yes, I am Blessed. Happy Thanksgiving to you and all of your many blessings!

My Sentimental Thoughts

Today, I am supposed to be back home in California.

I have been scouring the internet for plane tickets for the past 2.5 months so that we could be there. When I approached Joe with the idea of this weekend trip, and its importance to me, we set a financial limit/goal, and both agreed that we would go if we could find tickets within our bracket. I didn't think our expectations financially were out of reach. But I was wrong. The cost for airfare never even came close. I finally acknowledged the fact that we wouldn't be able to go just about a week and a half ago. I felt heart broken. Maybe it was good that I was in a very public place (and in a "teacher" role), so I couldn't cry or be emotional. But inside, I felt crushed.

You see, today, my friend Jessica is marrying her sweetheart. I met Jessica when I was 16. I realize now that I have known her for half of my life. She's always been more to me than just a friend; she's the closest thing I have to a little sister.

I have a lot of fun memories of our time together. Somewhere we developed an inside joke about s'mores, supported each other in concerts and performances, played games, made cookies, went swimming and hot tubbing, watched movies, went on walks, danced, talked, cried, laughed, hugged, loved.

When I think about Jess, my heart bursts. In a good way. I wouldn't be who I am today or have many of my incredible blessings, without the relationship and influence of my little sister. For days, I have been thinking of many of the things I have learned and gained from her, and I decided to finally write them down.

Jessica is a ray of sunshine and happiness. Seriously. That girl is just happy! Even tho not everything is going perfectly and she's facing challenges and trials. She makes a choice to be happy.

Jessica is a hard worker. School does not come naturally nor is it easy for her. But she is dedicated and focused. She sets goals and rises to the challenge. She wants to be her best self, and she has always been willing to work and to fight for it.

Jessica is a follower of Christ. For as long as I have known her, her spiritual convictions have been evident and expressed thru the way she lives, the choices she makes, the people she chooses to associate with, and the goals she sets for herself. She is devoted to following God and serving Him. She lives in a way that brings others the blessing of His spirit, and thru her, we know Him better.

Jessica is a friend. She is thoughtful and kind and makes a strong effort for people to know that she cares about them. She includes those that are lonely. She lets you know that you are important to her and that she values you.


And I guess, one of the last things that I love about Jessica, is this: BECAUSE OF JESSICA, I AM A MOTHER.

Motherhood is challenging and definitely not easy. But it is also filled with blessings and joy and a love that I cannot describe nor can I compare it to anything else I have felt or experienced in my life. And because of Jessica, I have found that love and joy. Because of her influence in my life, I have found peace and happiness to fill the void of doubt and despair. Because of Jessica, I know that I am of worth. I know that I matter. I know that I am blessed to be me and to have the life that I have. Because of Jessica, I have a son and I became a Mom.

And because of Jessica, I have been blessed.

I wish more than anything that I could be with her on her special day. My heart is beyond touched that it mattered to her and that she wanted me to be there. And so today, like many days, but especially today, I think of her and Michael, sending them my happiest thoughts and excitement as they begin their adventure together, as husband and wife. 

My 31st Birthday

Joe and I were apart on my 31st birthday this year. He was on day 1 of his travels to Chicago, where Brek, myself, and my parents would be joining him in visiting with my sister and her family the following day.

Each time Joe stopped that day, he sent me a text of things he loved about me. They were sweet and thoughtful and I wanted to remember them.

Stop 1 -Ogallala: I love cuddling with you while we watch tv or sit at home, or at church, or pretty much any time at all!
Stop 2 -North Platte: I love that you support all of my crazy ideas and always manage to find some way to make them work.
Stop 3 -Kearney: I love your ravioli bake and your sweet potato medallions and your roasted veggies and your steak and your rolls and EVERYTHING!
Stop 4 -Lincoln: I love that you always either laugh at my jokes, or else laugh at me :-). You have a very genuine laugh and a smile that lights up any room.
Stop 5 -Des Moines!: I love that you never ever EVER complain about my pit stops. Not even once have you made me embarrassed about my special colon.
Stop 6 -Williamsberg: I love that you can make the right students cry, and the right students laugh!

A Good Brother

I didn't want to forget the details about this Brek story, and the important details were too long for facebook, so I figured I would write it on the blog. That's what it's for anyway, right?

I took Brek to the park around the corner from my parent's house, which we have been frequenting a lot since we arrived in California. Brek was excited that there another kid there to play with. She was a 3-year-old little girl. She also had a little red balance bike, similar to his. He rode his bike around for a while, up and down the hill and around the park. Eventually he invited her to ride with him.

She was a typical 3-year-old: wobbly and unbalanced, quick to get frustrated and give up, and plenty of tears when things didn't go her way.

But how Brek acted made me love him even more and just feel proud of the person he is becoming.

When she fell, Brek would stop and make sure she was ok, and help her up. There were times when he came close to crashing and falling because of where she was or what she was doing, but he handled it calmly, rode carefully, and made sure it was safe for both of them. When she cried because he was faster than her, he would slow down and suggest that they "ride together". For a kid who is always competing and racing, it was very sweet to see him compassionate towards someone else's feelings and frustrations. When she gave up because she thought it was just too hard, he came over and sat with me and talked about her bicycling skills. We talked about some of the ways he has worked to become better at bike riding, how he has learned to handle hills and riding fast, and what he does when he feels like he's losing control. After a few minutes, he told me that he was going to go teach her some of the things he has learned. Then he invited her to try again.

Over the 90 minutes that we were at the park, it was very exciting to see this little girl improve and get better at riding her bike. Brek was a great cheerleader for her as she tried hard things.

It was definitely a proud mommy moment.

Of course, there couldn't be a Brek story without some humor - no worries: During one of their bike breaks while they played on the playground, Brek started singing at the top of his lungs and busting out his very awkward dance moves. Gotta love his unrestrained charisma.

I pushed them both in the swings and after a while Brek got out of his swing and pushed her for a while. At one point he looked up at me and asked, "Is this showing that I will be a good brother?"

My heart broke a little. If there ever was a small child that had a sincere desire of their heart, it is this boy for a sibling. Sure I get a little annoyed at the frequency at which he's pushing on my tummy and asking me if I am pregnant. I wish it weren't so complicated to adopt. But it is. And we're working towards it. His adoption came about with a lot of thinking, but not a lot of planning. This time around, we're trying to do the thinking and the planning. It of course requires patience. Almost 5-year-olds are NOT patient.

But I guess if there is a sincere desire of MY heart, it's to grant the desire of HIS.

Picture-less Family Vacation

We just got back from our family vacation. This is the first vacation that we have taken that has just been the 3 of us. Every other trip we have done has been to be with family. So this was definitely something new. The other "new" element, was that we splurged and got a hotel. For 2 nights! Brek now wishes he could live in one. (Isn't there an old tv show/movie or 2 about this?)

Anyway. Like always, I brought my camera. I actually pulled it out to take a few pictures the first day, and the battery immediately died. I did at least remember to bring the charge cord for it, so we plugged it in our first night. And then I remembered to bring my camera along for the remaining 2 days. And never pulled it out again. So thus the title. An awesome and memorable family vacation, and no photographic proof. (To be perfectly honest, I think I have 3 or 4 pictures on our phone, but in case you weren't aware, our phone is still in the "flip" variety and it's photos don't even upload to facebook, so ...)

Our family vacation was 3 days, 2 nights in Denver. Originally we were going to go to Cheyenne, but Joe was able to get an appointment with is doctor on a Monday WITHOUT school, so we changed the original 2 days, 1 night in Cheyenne to 3 days, 2 nights in Denver. I had assumed that EVERYTHING would be closed on Easter Sunday, so that meant that we would need the day prior to be able to play around the city. After spending Easter Sunday in the city, I am reminded how that culture is SO.COMPLETELY.DIFFERENT.THAN.SMALL.TOWN.NEBRASKA. I shouldn't have worried about it. But I'm also not sad that we had the extra day.

I'd say there were 3 downsides to our trip. Maybe to some, some of these might sound like excuses or justifications or whatever. But I really only am writing about them because despite the fact that I have been enjoying my time with my 2 boys these past 3 days, these elements have been on my mind. It has been my inner battle, and for the safe of journaling and expressing thoughts and reality, I want to include them BEFORE I write about the actual vacation. So, judge all you want. I'm just being real and me here. First, it was over Easter. Although we enjoy the fun "hunt" and "basket" elements of Easter, I really try to focus on the spiritual element. It is, after all, the MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT OF LIFE. Brek was of course rather upset that we missed our town's egg hunt on Saturday. And then by Sunday was even more distraught that we were not joining in on somebody else's egg hunt either. And in all honesty, although we talked to him about what Easter was about, and he can tell you that it's about Christ being resurrected, we didn't do anything else SPIRITUAL with Easter. We let it pass this year. Hard to do. But done. Second, our trip also fell over General Conference, which is a really important 2 days for Mormons where we listen to our modern, living Prophet and other church leaders. We receive counsel and guidance and inspiration. I have only ever missed watching Conference in my lifetime because of something I could not get out of. But once again, for the safe of our family time, we decided to not watch any of the sessions. Not necessarily proud of it, nor could I say I'm ashamed or embarrassed either. It's just what happened. (And since I've missed it all, I've also been trying to decide what kind of spiritual study I want to start so that I am catching up and watching or reading these talks that I have missed. I am grateful that they are so readily available via the internet.) The final downside would be health. Having a son who is go-go-go almost constantly, with 2 parents that battle such physically limiting health issues is a challenge, and often what makes our parenting less than ideal. I battled a very intense headache/almost migraine for the first 2 days, joined with some "normal" but no less debilitating back/neck pain. And Joe, well, just needed a toilet.

So, now that the negatives are out there, it's time for the positives (and the narrative): We left Saturday morning. We spent Friday (which was the first day of our Easter Break at home, relaxing, cleaning, and mildly getting ready.) We woke up Saturday and packed. No real rush. We got to Denver around lunchtime. We ate at KFC. With a child who fights eating, the constant reminder of "We can't go play until you finish eating" still gets REALLY OLD! And he sure was excited about the playing part. We went to the Children't Museum there in Denver. My mom and I took him there a little over a year ago. Joe had never been, and Brek has been begging to go back ever since. We were not prepared for huge massive crowds. Apparently, the day before Easter is a big one for the museum. This put Brek in his "observation mode" despite his exuberant outbursts and huge smiles about going to the museum while he was supposed to be eating lunch. He still had fun. And he handled the masses well. We stayed until closing, and even then, he wasn't ready to leave. Most of our time was spent at the ball area, of course. But he explored and played in some of the parts he hadn't in the last time. Then we went down to the firetruck area, which hadn't held his attention much a year ago. But he really like it during this visit. At one point, another little brown boy about his age engaged Brek in some awesome "pretend play" and the 2 of them were off fighting fires and exploring houses and driving trucks to their little heart's content. It was precious! After the firetruck, we went up and did bubbles for a bit. Brek really loved the vapor/smoke ones that he could catch. And then he convinced us to go outside to the carnival area which was part of the Easter extravaganza and he played with hula hoops and got to ride a little barrel train. He had only minimal interest in the instruments that were there, but then again, he's around those (and of a much more "realistic" variety) on a regular basis. He then went over to the playground area and attempted some monkey bars as well as an attempt at engaging with/showing off for some other kids. Then joined a large group on the tire swing. And then we ended back at the firetruck area for the last 15 minutes before we got kicked out.
From there, we checked into our hotel and then went to dinner at PF Chang's. I've had a gift card and free appetizer coupon for several years. We ended up eating on the patio since it was a 10 minute wait instead of 40, and in reality, it was closer to 5 minutes. It was still almost too cold to eat outside, but not bad really, and the atmosphere was fun. Our waitress scored us a 2nd free appetizer so we ended up with lettuce wraps and green bean fries. Brek had his first "sweet and sour chicken" and kept talking about how the sauce was AMAZING! I got "almond cashew chicken" which was yummy, but also made me wish I had just gotten honey chicken instead since that's my favorite. And Joe got "salmon avocado sushi." He let me try a bite, and as I had never eaten sushi before, I was pretty hysterical and nervous. But it was yummy. I also tried their strawberry, cucumber, and lime infused water and it was DELICIOUS!!! We ordered dessert to go and went back to the hotel and enjoyed their famous chocolate cake and some chocolate raspberry wontons. It was a really fun night!
Our hotel room had 2 rooms in it, so that was nice because Brek got to sleep in his own room. He also enjoyed the tv time, tho he is still getting a grasp on the concept of tv since we watch everything on the computer. He doesn't fully understand that he doesn't get to watch WHATEVER he wants when he wants to. Sunday, we enjoyed breakfast at the hotel and then went swimming. Brek was disappointed that there wasn't a hot tub, but the pool was nice and warm and felt good anyway. And the shallow end was only 3 feet so Brek was able to get around on his own. We brought our own food to make paninis for lunch (although we forgot the panini press at home, so it ended up just being fancy sandwiches) and then took naps. Once we were up, we went on a search for a park. With a bathroom. This proved to be more challenging to expected. We ended up in the heart of a huge residential area, with a really huge park. And it seems going to a park on Easter Sunday in the afternoon is what EVERYONE IN DENVER does. Haha! We did find some portopottys at least, but the playground area was on the complete opposite end of the park, and then there was no parking anywhere either. So after some deliberating we decided to head back towards the hotel and try and find another park. I think we tried 3 or 4 before we found a park area with a visitor's center with a bathroom, and after paying an entrance fee, had less than 30 minutes to play there before it closed. We wanted to fly kites; there was no wind. We also had some "Easter basket toys" that I hid around the park for Brek to find. I guess the way we do Easter baskets in our family is that we hide everything, not just the eggs. And there wasn't much candy anyway. Brek's favorite toy was a rocket that I found. He actually had asked for a rocket for Christmas, so I was excited when I found this one for less than $5. And it's something he can totally power and do himself. So after Brek found all his toys and we played for about 10 minutes, we got back in the car and went back to the hotel and swam again. Then we ventured out for dinner. This also proved a little more challenging than expected. We ended up in downtown Denver. Joe was on the hunt for a bathroom. I was in charge of finding parking. Had to pay for it over the phone, after setting up the car and the credit card into their system, and then having to call several times because it didn't make sense. Then, the restaurant that we had looked up wasn't open, so we had to improvise. We ended up at Hard Rock Cafe. The food and experience was meh, but still memorable. :)
Monday, after enjoying breakfast at the hotel again, we did some swimming. Then packed up and left the hotel. We went shopping at Costco, which, after living in such a small town, is always a fun thing to do. Then we enjoyed lunch at Panera Bread - because Joe knows I love deli type places. Then Joe had his doctor's appointment, and after that took 1 1/2 hours longer than planned, we headed home. We had to go home via band practice for Joe tho, so we actually didn't get home until late.

Saturday was definitely the favorite of the trip. But truthfully speaking, it was just nice to spend time together. We played board games. We watched cartoons. We slept. We cuddled. We laughed. We swam. We spent a ton of money, which is only a big deal because, as Brek says it, "we're trying to dopt a baby." We made memories. We were together, focused on each other. And someday, we'll do it again.

Brek's Pictures

Once Brek's marching band costume was really coming together, we decided that we wanted to get some professional photos taken of him in it. But with the tightness of finances, we couldn't afford any of the people we have heard of in the area, plus I prefer to use photographers that I actually know, and that narrowed my local photographers down to the couple that runs our town's newspaper, and I really couldn't afford them either. So we decided to ask Joe's sister Janelle if she could take some pictures when we came out for Christmas. We were so happy that it worked out. She came over New Year's morning. Brek was quite the pill, considering the late night from before and being upset about cousins leaving and all, but she still managed to take some wonderful shots and dealt magnificently with a stubborn 4-year-old:

Yes. Some real, actual marching did take place during the photoshoot:

I absolutely LOVE this picture of Joe! It's hard to get a real, genuine smile out of him, especially in front of a camera. He thinks he looks all "sporty and athletic" but I think he just looks happy.

Some Father-Son shots:

This is when Brek started melting and right before he fell on the floor, because, as he put it, he "didn't have any legs."

Some family shots:

The rest of these are my favorites, and I'm hoping that we can get them blown up and printed on canvas or create some sort of gallery and hang them in Joe's band room. Hopefully we'll get a great a tax return, or otherwise we'll have to wait until we're rich and famous. They are just too awesome!

So if you're in Utah and are in need of a great photographer with reasonable prices, I totally recommend Memories by Janelle!

The Last Day of Our Vacation - aka New Year's Day

Brek enjoyed helping Grandma Jensen shovel the snow:

That evening we went over to Peter and Marisa's. Brek ran into the wall. He temporarily wore an ice pack:

You can see the bump in this next picture. And cousin Jessica gave Brek nail polish to paint my nails, and Joe's nails, and Joe's toenails. And then we made sure he painted Jessica's nails before she left for her blind date.

And someone else gave him a candy to turn his tongue blue:

It was a fun night. And a wonderful end to our visit to Utah. And a fun start to our 2015!

December Part 4 - The rest of our vacation and New Year's Eve

One morning Brek convinced Grandma Jensen to pull out her cello. This is one of Brek's favorite things to do when we visit.

Then Grandma suggested we get out one of the old broken violas hanging on her wall and turn it into a more appropriately-sized cello for Brek. She pulled out an extra cello bow and go to work teaching Brek proper position and technique.

And then they started playing duets:

This is one of my favorite pictures:

Another day Joe & I had a date and when and did some shopping. We went to lunch at Zupas like we always do which is my favorite restaurant and I got the same thing that I always get. So yummy!!! We did some clothes and shoes and Costco shopping too. It's nice to visit a city after living in rural country. Then we met up with my sister and her family and saw the new movie Annie. Very cute!

On New Year's Eve day, we drove up to Salt Lake and went to the zoo. It was a free admission day. I knew it was going to be cold, but I wasn't quite expecting freezing. Brek was pretty whiny and unpleasant. There weren't as many animals out as we had hoped. But we hung in there for an hour or so and called it good. We did get to see the gorillas (inside, thankfully), and an elephant out playing in the snow, and the sea lions and seals (not even the polar bear was out!), but we did see the brown bears, and then the tigers too. They were pretty active.

Trying to get a picture with the tiger. Not such a good one:

Then inside. Brek liked the big turles the most:

Before we left we stopped and got hot chocolate in the zoo cafe.

That evening cousins arrived!!!

Playing with Jensen, Eliza, Mara, and Olaf

It just so happens that Mara and Eliza's new Christmas pjs are the EXACT SAME ONES that my mom got for my nieces, which match Brek's pjs. So they wore them on New Year's Eve together.

Tea party with cousins and Olaf:

Brek, Eliza, Mara, Lizzie, Olaf, and Sabrina

Our brother-in-law Matt got a race car driving simulator for Christmas, so he brought it over for our New Year's Eve party. As the evening dwindled down and got later, even Brek took a turn. His cousins Rose, Nora, and Mara were helpful so he could have several turns. Apparently he's really good at crashing:

It was fun partying with the Jensen family to ring in the New Year. It was the first time Brek has gotten to stay up until Midnight, which he of course thought was totally awesome (and of course made for a cranky boy the next day). We're grateful that Brek has such wonderful cousins that play so well with him. Happy 2015 to our family and friends!!!