Once again, I was asked to speak in church on Mother's Day. I have seriously done this at least 4 or 5 times in my life, and thought it was pretty unfair that a mother would have to prepare her own darn talk on the day she is supposed to be pampered and loved, but such is life and I lived through it. :) But I'll share my talk on here, like I did last time, for those that care to read it. I was actually quite proud of my talk, and thought it was probably my best yet:Good afternoon Brothers and Sisters. And Happy Mother's Day!
Seeing as this is my first Mother's Day of actually being a mom, I know I am not well-versed in wisdom and motherly experience. I personally thought it was unfair that any mom should have to talk on a day meant to celebrate her, but Brother Cannon said he couldn't help asking me because my son was so cute. Next time I think I'm going to ask for an ugly baby. :)
I decided to direct my focus on the mothers and examples of motherhood from the scriptures. I initially made a long list of those I thought I would like to talk about. I wish I could have gathered my words and thoughts well enough to comment on examples such as Hannah, Elizabeth, or Naomi, let alone mothers such as Eve, Emma, or Mary. I also wish I could share a wonderful talk about the example of Pharoah's daughter, because as it was recently pointed out to me, she, like me, became a mother through the gift of adoption. But I won't be speaking about any of those I have mentioned. Instead, my thoughts have been somewhat random, scattered, and yet hopefully still inspired. I pray that the Spirit can help make a little sense out of what I have wished to share with you this afternoon.
First, I would like to talk about Hagar. Hagar strikes me because her life isn't perfect. She is so human? Sometimes it seems so easy to place scripture stories in the realm of fairy tales, or even place these scripture heroes on pedestals. But not so much with Hagar's story.
Hagar is a single mother. That statement alone seems to make us wonder what we can learn from her, because her life isn't something we would desire to achieve. And yet, her story touches me deeply, and I hope it will touch you too.
Hagar, as a new single mother, is sent out into the wilderness, to provide for herself and her son. And when everything is gone, the food and water supplies have been depleted, she sees her life and her son's life wasting away into nothingness. No one else knows. No one cares.
Do you find yourself feeling like this, when trial after trial has come your way? Do you ever feel alone? Do you feel like your life is full of trials and hardships? Do you think that everyone else must have it easier and better than you?
I'm sure that Hagar felt many of these same things. Her life was hard. Much of her joy and happiness were taken away from her. All that she had was her son and her faith, and to her, it appeared that neither of those things would survive.
Yet, with what seemed to be her last ounce of faith, she opened her heart to God.
Brothers and Sisters, Heavenly Father was completely aware of Hagar, and her son. He had not forgotten them. He knew of her despair and heartache.
Don't we as mothers, and fathers, parents, and leaders just want to know that the Lord is aware of us? We want to know that he hasn't forgotten us, even when it seems that everyone else has. We want to know that He knows our heartache and despair. And He knows our children too. I testify that He does know. He knows each of us. He knows our desires, and our pains and sufferings. He knows those that we love and care about. He knows us, and He loves us.
I pray we each take comfort, as Hagar did, in these simple, yet profound truths: that the Lord is mindful of us, that He loves us. And as the Lord spoke to Hagar, He speaks to you too: “Fear not; for God hath heard thy voice...Arise, lift up...and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation...And God was with the lad (Genesis 21:17, 18, 20).”
One of my favorite talks right now is President Uchtdorf's talk to the Young Women last April called “Your Happily Ever After.” He said, “it is remarkable to know that our eternal Heavenly Father knows you, hears you, watches over you, and loves you with an infinite love. In fact, His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of “once upon a time,” complete with your own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. You need to know that you will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will suffer, be tempted, and make mistakes. You will learn for yourself what every hero and heroine has learned: through overcoming challenges come growth and strength. And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension. Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.”
Sariah is another mother from the scriptures that I like to think about. Her husband was a man of God that the people, and even some of her own children, thought was crazy. (I often share those same sentiments about my own husband.) :) She is a women of faith. She has a testimony of her own and doesn't solely rely upon that of her husband, nor his divine calling. She finds joy in her children. We know this because she rejoices in their safety and obedience as they return from Jerusalem (1 Nephi 5:1, 7). Her trials are great. As a women accustomed to temporal lavishness and greatness, she then must learn to live simply, humbly, with barely the means required to survive. Do you think she worried and fretted and was angry as her husband “lost his job?” Did she miss the name brand jeans and most expensive bed, to then shop at DI and rest on a sleeping bag? She went from owning the finest of homes to living in a tent and being homeless. From shopping sprees to working and laboring for all things. Talk about change. And I can only imagine that it was difficult and hard and not fun. I'm sure she didn't just accept it in one day, but I am sure that she poured her heart out to the Lord and put her trust in Him, using her faith to rely and depend that through her family's obedience, God would provide and take care of her and her family.
I can only imagine that this was a family that held family scripture study, family prayer, and family home evening. She used teaching moments with her children to share her testimony of the Gospel, to create a home where the Spirit could reside, and to help each of her children to cultivate a testimony of her own. How then, did she feel as 2 of her sons rejected all that they had been taught? Did she express her love for her sons? Did she again, repeatedly pour her heart out to the Lord, pleading that Laman and Lemual's hearts be softened, that they repent and gain testimony? I am certain that she did. And yet, despite her sincerest desires and best attempts, did she feel like she failed? Did she wish that she had done things differently? Did she think, “if only”? Did she wish she had done more? I'm sure, that especially on the account of her two eldest sons, she did. Many would say, “Well, at least she has Sam and Nephi, Jacob and Joseph. They were obedient and righteous.” But how could a mother forget a child. Each one holds a piece of her heart. Even with just 1 missing, let alone 2, a family is incomplete. What then, for Sariah? What then for our children who have strayed? What then for our hearts and our eternal families? My only response is that the Lord knows. He knows our hearts and our desires. He hears our pleadings and catches our tears. And although we cannot know the end now, the Lord can ease our pain, calm our fears, and help us to stand when we cannot muster the strength on our own. We need only remain faithful and obedient. Sariah was; let us be like her.
Elder Ballard in April 2008 said, “There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children.” He also said, “There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration.”
In closing, I'd like to share a poem I found as a teenager, shortly after I had truly discovered that my mom wasn't perfect, and I gave this to her for Mother's Day. It's titled “To my not-so-perfect Mom.”
"I'm so glad you aren't perfect.
I watch you try harder
I've heard you say I'm sorry
I watch you as you pick yourself up and go onI see you try even when it seems hopeless
I've seen you cry
And, I see the joy you've found
I watch you exhibit courage you didn't know you had
I watch you persevere
I see you accept and give forgiveness
I watch as you learn and grow
If I could love you this much, even tho you aren't quite perfect
Maybe I have a chance.
By being a little less than perfect
You have set the perfect example.
Come to think of it,
You are the perfect mom for me.
I love you mom."
I watch you try harder
I've heard you say I'm sorry
I watch you as you pick yourself up and go onI see you try even when it seems hopeless
I've seen you cry
And, I see the joy you've found
I watch you exhibit courage you didn't know you had
I watch you persevere
I see you accept and give forgiveness
I watch as you learn and grow
If I could love you this much, even tho you aren't quite perfect
Maybe I have a chance.
By being a little less than perfect
You have set the perfect example.
Come to think of it,
You are the perfect mom for me.
I love you mom."
Brothers and Sisters, I am really grateful for mothers. I am grateful for the mothers we read about in the scriptures, along with those motherly figures I have had throughout my life. I am grateful for my mother-in-law, who is an amazing example of faithfulness. I am grateful for her diligence in teaching her children the Gospel. I am truly grateful for my own mother, for her unwavering testimony, for her dedication and diligence to being obedient in all things. I am grateful for the sweet mother who allowed me to be a mother. I never could have imagined how much joy could come from this sweet baby.
I am grateful for the Gospel. Without it, my life lacks purpose and meaning. It is my rod that I hold to when trials pull from all sides.
I hope that others will see in us, much like the Stripling Warriors said of their mothers, and what the apostle Paul said of Timothy, as he said, “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother, and thy mother; and I am persuaded that in thee also (2 Timothy 1:5).”
May we carry on the examples of faith from our mothers. And may we take joy in being just a little not-so-perfect, is what I leave with you...
It was actually quite an emotional day for me, as I couldn't stop thinking about Jewel, our birthmom. I sure love that woman!
Father's Day was far less traumatic for Joe. I was quite proud of myself because about a month earlier I had thought about what I wanted to do for him. I took a bunch of pictures of Brek in Joe's ties. Here are some of my favorites:
I don't have a picture of the final product, but I found some magnetic photo frames and did some photo shop to these last couple pictures. And then I wrote "Happy Father's Day! 2011" I was pretty excited with how they turned out.
We sure do love our boy! We are very lucky parents!
